Ambitions

The other day, me and colleagues talked about our ambitions when we were growing up. Thus, I tried to recall what was my ambition then and I found that I wanted to be a teacher for the longest time.  Masa sekolah rendah dulu, bila cikgu tanya, "Murid2, apakah cita2 kamu bile besar nanti?" {Standard la script cikgu tahun 80-an}... Terus tersembul idea, nak jadi CIKGU... Or bahasa skemanya "Guru"...

Bila dah naik secondary school, I changed my mind.  Sebab apa, sebab bajet creative bila I found peace playing with colours in the art class... Nak2 pulak masatu having an "autograph" book was the IN thing... Yup in the early 90's autograph memang happening... Dengan bangganya, I sorang je ade autograph book with cute penguins cover picture!.  Every year ade autograph book, most of them are made in a little hard cover book.

Moreover, a rascal younger me hated maths so much and occupied maths period by drawing the portrait of Math's teacher in the text book.  Tehehehee {begitulah larinya focus bila maths period... KANTOI... Sowwy Cikgu...}  Pastu dapat plak conteng2, buat painting kat walls at school.  Dulu kat sekolah, aktiviti tu was called Mural, now nama happening dia "Graffiti". Dan itulah puncanya bertukar ambition dari nak jadi seorang guru kepada nak jadi seorang pelukis or painter...

Something borrowed.

Right after I finished school, Mama tengok anak dia yang sorang ni macam minat sangat2 art, so she enrolled me at St. Martin Art College, London.  Glamour kan? Unfortunately I was so very young, naive and foolish at the time, so buat drama, nanges2 nak balik Malaysia, homesick... Malaysia Oh Tanahairku... Tehehehe... Then again, nasib baiklah tak abis study kat sana, kalau tak, tak taulah boleh maintain imaan kat sana ke tak... Hikmah tu...  Sekurang2nya dapat jugak jejak kaki kat London kan and stay there for couple of months...

So, sambung je lah pursued art at the local art college.  OK ape... Finally dapat jugak lah mendalami ilmu seni yang memang very fascinating and exciting...  At last, graduated diploma in Art... There, I have achieved one dream kan... 

I was also given a great opportunity to be a QDees teacher when I was younger which I did not see it coming... It all happened when at first I was trying to enroll my little brother at QDees, terus the principal offered me a job after she saw me playing with the other kids. Allah is great, at least he gave me the valuable chance and experience to enjoy being a pre-school Teacher... I left early education field 8 years ago.  My former student now has reached 14 years old, imagine...  The best part is we're still in touch and she still calls me "Teacher"... Awwhh... Sweet... She has becoming a very talented and smart gal. :)

I am truly grateful to have achieved my ambitions even if it was within a short period of time.  I am lucky that my mom has never stopped me from doing what I wanted to do, experience happiness or even bitterness in life so I learn to be tough.  (Not as tough as her though)...  I am also thankful for her sacrifices all these years...

I guess all my life, I have never set a goal of who I wanted to be... But I have made it through, so here I am... Still surviving... Now, I am not filthy rich, but I have a peaceful life...  Alhamdulillah...

Psst... It may be a juicy story...

A group usually those who hang out with the same group of people and do the same things together. I do not intend to join any "groups" and trying my best to be as neutral as possible especially at work.  I just happen to have lunch with the same people everyday.  The reason for doing so is they sit so close to me... A group of peeps who are able to hear me whisper (too much la whisper kan)... reword: can hear when I say... "Lunch today, where?" 

Today we had Subway Sandwiches at our mini office lounge for lunch.  Most of the times we talk about our loved ones, mostly about their cute babies... Since I don't have one, it's good to hold it in my memory.  OK brain hear me {Open a folder / Save as "Babies"}. Who knows one day the folder will be useful to me, then bolehlah revisit it...

Other than that, we usually talk about TV shows or movies (how good or suckie they can be).  Unfortunately ada jugaklah we  talk about "people" but not usually a bad stuff tapi it is more of "discussing" about people, uh-huh tak boleh lari kan, we are human beings mesti nak vent jgk kalau tak puas hati... Hahah!  We are not angels anyway! But I am proud to say that we RARELY do it and I try my best to avoid it.  Insya-Allah.  Like today, we talked about OURSELVES, like it was so embarrassing yesterday when I accidentally opened a stranger's car cos I thought that was my hubby's car. That was me in the "my head in the clouds" mode... Lalalaa... LOL!

Can't help wondering that the brainy quote above is so true kan?

I found some points that might help us to prevent talking bad about others:

GENERAL MOTIVES:

1. To solve a problem they're having with the individual, but lack the skill to do it in a kind way.
2. To discredit the other person, or cause harm to the other person. To hurt, or they feel they must defend themselves from hurt, so they hurt first. 
   
3. Want to be accepted, so they find common humor, evil, etc. to talk about, to make themselves feel better.

If someone talks about other person, she will talk about their problem, then she will go into details  and she may exaggerate a little to make it more juicy and spicy. At the end of the day it will leave a negative light on the person she talks about.

Sometimes she talks bad about another person because she silently feels that the person has a major impact in her life and she is scared of that person.  She feels threatened by that someone. She does this because she feels like she must manipulate the people around her to stay safe.

Some other times she talks about other people because she simply does not have better things to do.  She does it without considering the people or friendships that will be damaged. She treats it just like an entertainment.

Sounds familiar? Do we really want to be one of the above? If someone talks bad about you with little exaggerations, which not entirely the truth, how would you feel?  I know it's quite hard to avoid because it happens around us everyday kan... The best we could do now is jangan jadi batu api... Pernah sekali tengok "tanyalah Ustaz", ada orang suka mengata orang gila, sedangkan orang gila tu tak ada kena mengena dengan kita.  Tapi bukankah orang gila itu telah dijanjikan syurga?... Hurm... I am not perfect either.  I write this to remind myself not to judge people as much as I do not like other people to judge me. Biarlah if I'll end up to be a goody two shoes plain jane (describing how "boring" one could be, hehehe)... Janji tak kacau orang kan... Hopefully I don't, kalau TERkacau, sowwy, seriously tak sengaja. :)

 Reference: wiki.answers.com

In the name of LOVE

Many people have said that a relationship in a marriage will fade away after they have been together for many years... For me, I am trying to keep the faith and make our relationship grows stronger day by day not the other way around... I always believe that a relationship works both ways... Orang nampak kahwin ni macam senang kan... Some might think wedding preparations sangat susah... Wait til you have to ride a tiny little boat together in a big ocean, to go to the deep sea until you reach the destiny ~ akhirat, syurga? Insya-Allah... 

Sebelum ride that boat pun, dah banyak different thoughts, for instance I want the boat to be in purple, he wants it red... I want to go left, he wants to go right? At the end of the day, It's how you meet each other half way... If you're lucky, you'll get a bigger and better ship siap anak2 kapal lagi eventually...  Dugaan yang paling besar buat kami bila kami belum lagi dianugerahkan cahayamata walaupun this marriage has reached its 4th year.  Memang berat lagi pulak bila we both love children and our family and friends have been strongly asking about it regularly.  Lagi pulak, we have gone through all the fertility check-up and the results showed that we both are OK. :'(

Takpe, Insyallah we won't give up trying and praying... Doakan kami sama ye...

As I said, we've been riding a boat together for 4 years now... Alhamdullillah, we struggled from riding a  small boat to a better boat... We have survived through a few of ups and downs, highs and lows... My deepest gratitude goes to Allah... Here's a shout out video composed especially for our 4th Anniversary... 

I took 2 nights to finish up the video.  I put in 2 lovey-dovey songs, "Terukir di Bintang" by Yuna which is my favourite and "I won't give up" by Jason Mraz which my hubby loves it because of its meaningful lyrics... { Dalam hati: "Never give up on me OK, walaupun I ngade sometimes.. " } 

On our anniversary day that morning, he had to leave early.  I saw a gift with 1 card and another smaller card.  I purposely waited until later that night to open the gift depan dia. ;)

 At the office, after lunchtime, I received a bouquet of red and pink roses . A couple of my colleagues said "tiap2 tahun the same roses...". For him to take the effort to walk to the florist like 10 mins walking distance {I know cos I keje dulu kat tempat dia keje sekarang :P}, for him to think that red and pink are my favourite colours {which actually purple and pink, you know "GUYS"... hahaha}, for him to ensure that the bouquet delivered right to my office on time... I can't thank him enough already... His pure intention and his sweet thoughts have made me feel that I couldn't ask for more. Biarlah bunga yang sama, warna yang sama bertahun2 pun, he's still my paradise, will always be... Insya-Allah...

This year, we had our anniversary dinner at Toni Romas, Pavillion, picked by him sebab dia suka makan ribs.  Eloklah dia request nak makan dekat2 aje, sebab masatu perut pun dah lapar sebab I did not have lunch haritu.

Burp... Alhamdulillah... We ordered a big plate of bountiful ribs, tapi belum abis makan, dah kenyang... So ta pau lah ape lagi... Later that night, my turn plak bagi dia gift... Then we took turn to open the gift... 

 

He was so excited to see what he got this time... I am lucky to have him sebab dia seorang yang sangat sederhana, tak pernah kalah dengan peer pressure. All this while, he often buys me pretty good things, does a lot of sweet things for me.  So I take this chance to give him this special something...  I want him to know that I know he has sacrificed a lot to make me happy... Thank you sayang with big hug...

My turn pulak untuk buka hadiah... Tadaa... Tak sangka he actually noticed and remember that I've been wanting to buy this watch for a casual wear.  Early this year, memang ada terbelek2 jam macam ni kat Swatch.  Big HUG lagi skaliiii...

 

Dear husband,

Thank you for your kindness, patience and understanding.

Thank you for all the supports that you have always given me.

Thank you for the sacrifices that you have made for me.

Thank you for accepting me for who I am.

Most of all, thank you for loving me...

From your wife... 

Aku Scandal

Been fasting for the past 2 days.  Smalam I went to break fast at Nandos, KLCC.  Tiba2 nampak all the waitresses tergedik2 {please don't mind my language :P} snapped pictures with a guy yang ade misai janggut bagai... Siapalah mamat ni kan, tak nampak macam celebrity pun. Sempoi abis ngan t-shirt, 3 quarter khakis and cap senget jer kot... Apasal those gals over excited macam nampak Justin Bieber... Tehehehe... 

Pastu bila dah reda, dia duduk sorang2 right next to my table minum ice lemon tea and main2 handphone dia.  At the time, I pun duduk sorang2 at my table while trying to figure out siapalah mamat ni.  Where was my other half? Dia tak sampai lagi masatu, memang janji nak jumpa kat Nandos.  Skali intai punya intai, Lerrrr... Noh, HUJAN rupanya... Hardly recognised him sebab tak follow Versus tu.  Dah bermisai and janggut, mana nak kenal...

The latest picture of Noh from the Versus show, taken from http://s3.ohbulan.com

Tiba2 panicked, tak tau nak buat apa.  Sebab memang all this while dalam banyak2 indie bands kat Malaysia ni, suka tengok his style since he first came out mainstream. I could have tego him, ambik gambar with him... Pastu baru terfikir, woitt tadi kutuk2 dalam hati when the gals tergedik2 ambik gambar ngan dia, dah awak tu bini orang, jgn nak buat perangai pulak kan... Hehehhe... So bila dah realised that was Noh, terus lagu ni tak berhenti bermain di minda...  Cheh wah...

Cooking Nasi Lemak for the 1st Time

I am so excited! I have never cooked Nasi Lemak before this cos my mom always cook the yummiest nasi lemak ever... Tapi entah kenapa, semalam tiba2 rasa macam nak cuba masak nasi lemak.  It's not that tough because I have used to masak sambal tumis and rebus telur... Just nasi lemak tu yang first time. So, here's the result:

Tadaaa... Inilah hasil nasi lemak itew untuk 4 org makan...  Resipinya senang sahaja:

• 2 1/2 cawan beras
• Segulung daun pandan
• Halia (dihiris 3)
• 1 1/2 cawan santan pekat
• 1 1/2 cawan air
• Sedikit garam

{Masak nasi macam biasa, 2 1/2 beras dicampurkan dengan 1 1/2 cawan santan dan 1 1/2 air, daun pandan, halia, dan garam}.

Nasi Lemak kenalah ada family dia, nanti lonely plak kan... Jadi tak sedap.  Sedangkan manusia pun dijadikan berpasang-pasangan.  ;)

So, here's the family:

Pada mulanya nak buat sayur kangkung skali.  Tapi kat rumah ni tak ramai peminat sayur.  So, just buat sambal tumis udang and sambal tumis kosong untuk bibik (yang dipinjamkan every weekend oleh my Aunty) yang tak makan udang.

Here's the recipe:

• Timun - potong bulat2
• Telur rebus
• Sambal tumis udang:
• 4 ulas bawang merah, 2 bawang putih (tumbuk)
• 1 ulas bawang besar (dihiris)
• Cili boh 
• asam jawa
• sos tiram 
• sos tomato
• gula
• garam
• and of course udang

1. Tumis bawang besar yang telah dihiris, masukkan bawang yang telah ditumbuk.
2. Masukkan cili boh
3. Masukkan pula asam jawa
4. Masukkan sikit air dan kacau
5. Pastu masuk udang
6. Ini memang recipe sendiri, selalu suka masukkan sos tiram and sos tomato kacau lagi. (value added)
7. Last skali masukkan garam dan gula and kacau sampai masak.

•  Sambal tumis:

• 2 ulas bawang merah, 1 bawang putih (tumbuk)
• 1/2 ulas bawang besar (dihiris)
• Cili boh 
  
• asam jawa
• sos tiram 
• sos tomato
• gula
• garam
  
• sedikit ikan bilis

1. Tumis bawang besar yang telah dihiris, kali ni lain sikit, masukkan bawang dan ikan bilis yang telah ditumbuk.
2. Masukkan cili boh
3. Masukkan pula asam jawa
4. Masukkan sikit air dan kacau
5. Sama macam sambal udang, masukkan sos tiram and sos tomato kacau lagi.
6. And finally masukkan garam dan gula and kacau sampai masak.

Lastly, goreng ikan bilis garing2, boleh makan dengan sambal tumis kosong tadi.. Voilla~ Siap!

Masa untuk lunch...  Jom!  :)

Sad but True

I don't know why... but I feel so sad tonight... I feel like crying my heart out... Then I found this in youtube... Some sad but true words of wisdom... I'm sure each and everyone of us have experienced ups and downs in our lives...  May Allah gives me strength to go on...

Ya Allah, liberate me from fear. Give me the wisdom to think positively; give me the courage to stand by the truth; give me the openness to connect to those who avoid me; give me a smile, a clean heart and a winning attitude which conquers others; give me more of the world so I can spend in Your Path; give me the perspective that I need to remain satisfied with what You bless me with.

Ya Allah, forgive my sins and shortcomings and allow me to enter Jannah. Keep me on the Straight Path once You have guided me to it.

Ameen...