He's always in my heart

Tomorrow we will be celebrating eid "hari kemenangan"... to be frank I have stop fasting from F&B since a week ago. CUTiii ler...  How do I feel about celebrating Eid this year?  Nothing more than how I felt last year... For me, Raya means of course selesai sudah bulan Ramadhan yang mulia, new clothes, different ambiance, interesting TV stuff made especially due to Raya, special menu to compare with daily F&B. That kind of stuff...

What makes Raya this year different from the previous years,

1.  my gramma's ill and she's not gonna get it why are we celebrating Raya anymore...
2. we have allocated more money for ang pow raya to be given out to the kids of our families and relatives.
3. our theme colour for our raya clothings

Tu je la kot...

But one thing that lingers in my head now... I miss my late Grand Dad.  He was my hero.  We, the whole family looked highly up to him.  There's so much things to write about him.

• He was strong and hardworking.  He still insisted on working when he was already in his 70s.  He was still driving in his 80s.

•  He was very kind and generous. He was one out of three who initiated the Rumah Kanak2 Tunku Budriah.   I still remember how he liked taking me to go visit the less fortunate kids when I wasn't even gone to school yet...   I guess that was the way he taught me how to always be thankful for what I have.  I once was kissed by Allahyarham Sudirman when he performed at the orphanage.  My late grand dad was also the AJK of the surau then, upgraded to Mosque. He actively participated in so many social activities, the one that I could remember was gotong royong.

• He always remembered Allah.  During dawn and night, he would walk to surau to join the solat jemaah.  He had always recited Al-Quran.  When he was really2 ill, although he was already wheel chair bounded, he insisted on us taking him to the bathroom cos he wanted to take wudhu' then prayed. My grandma once told me that he recited surah Yaasin the day he was gonna leave us. 

• He was a very modest man.  He had never told anyone about his good deeds, or his success.  I saw loads of pictures of him with Tunku Abdul Rahman.  But he never bragged about hanging out with the first Malaysian PM.  He made friends without judging.  The day he died, the petrol pump attendant came to pay his last respect, then he shed a tear and told us that my late grand dad was a very warm, friendly and kind to everyone. :')

•  He liked to dress up.  I always remember his turquoise baju melayu and kain pelekat.  But he liked to wear his collar shirts tucked in and his complete black baju melayu, songkok with sampin.  My friend pernah cakap "Wow, smartnya Tok awak..." I was flattered...

•  He was very loving.  He loved small kids the most.  He used to take me out to Pizza, mamak restaurant and bought me toys.  I was so attached to him when I was small. He used to pick me up at school and sent me to sekolah agama almost everyday.  He liked to tickle his small grand children including me.  That's why all of us are very ticklish.  He liked us to sit on his lap.  He always smiled.  I remember his smile... always...

I have so many more memories with him that stays with me, in my mind, in my heart. I will always love him and now I miss him so much.  The saddest thing I remember was when he only remembered to call out my name when he was really ill during his last days with us... He even called my gramma with my name. :')

Whenever I think about him, I still feel lost and sad. Whenever I speak about him, my eyes start to fill with tears.  like right at this moment...  :'(

Here's the loving thought of him, the sweet doll that he bought for his favourite little grand daughter, which was meee...  I'm still keeping it until now.  To me, it's the most valuable doll I've ever had...

Al-Fatihah for my dear beloved Arwah Tok.