I hate to admit but I used to be a CRY baby. Breaking up can be so hurtful. Broken hearted is the most excruciating experience in our lives. I remember the only time I didn't feel a thing when a boy told me, " I think we should break-up"... When? When I was 14. He was 14 too. He had a crush on me, siap bagi mixed love songs compiled in a cassette lagi, pastu after a while, tiba2 nak break up with me when we had never even started a special relationship kot. That was the very first time a boy wanted to break up with me but I didn't feel hurt... Funny!!! Hehehehe...
But... the first time I felt hurt was when I had to break up with my very first monyet? ehehehe... you know like they always said "Cinta monyet". I wonder siape yg monyet? Org yg di sana x faham bahasa tu, monyet kot... Ehehehe... Ke tak padan ngan kecik dah gediks mcm monyet? Hahaha... Masa tu, rase mcm I don't wanna fall in love again cos love hurts! Mase tu la, mmg I was such a cry baby... All I did was peluk bantal busssuk n cry all night while writing all my frustrations in my diary... Yes, biaselah being such a young and naive at the age of 19, of course I would share a lil this and that with my close friends... But most of them, I'd rather kept it to myself. 19 is quite old for Cinta Monyet right? Naaaahhh, the female monyet first fall for the male monyet when she was 14 but she just kept to herself until he made the 1st move. Female monyet tu me laahh... Long story cut short, we really started to see each other when I was 18.
In my early 20s... the only thing that I can remember now is just hung out a lot with quite a few of my friends to survive a heartache. Mase tu, I have loads of teman tapi mesra which of course guys, and I refused to commit into a special relationships with them. But they were there for me for a cup of coffee or coke and they kept me a great company to watch movies. I hope it's ok to say that sometimes we just need a blanket to wrap around us when we feel so cold deep down in our souls... But if it's beginning to get so warm, we've got to roll it off a bit right? Nanti berpeluh, susah plak... Ehehe... Mase tu bile duduk sorang2, mulalah dgr lagu jiwang2, feeling2 - "All by myself" by Celine Dion, "Can't live without you" by Mariah Carey, hurrmmm ape lg ek... Lagu Siti Nurhaliza pn layan jugak biler layan perasaan yg duka lara tu... *grin*
Later when I was already in my late 20s, I was growing a little wiser and a little stronger than before. I managed to deal with my wounded heart wisely. I didn't have to have another teman tapi mesra next to me. How? I keep myself even closer to Allah and ask for forgiveness, and strength to move on. I was beginning to learn how to love myself and to learn to appreciate my life more. Mase tu lah I did what I had to do, find the right path for me ~ took up part time classes, actively participated in dancing and aerobics sessions. Ping!!! A right wake up call for me... I quit listening to all the sad love hurts songs... I started to gather my strength and listen to more numbers like "irreplaceable" by beyonce, "shake it off" by mariah carey, "ought to know" by Alanis Morisette. These songs were really helping! And eventually after I learned how to love myself, someone loves me for who I am... My dear sweetheart...
When I heard a sweet girl ( you know who you are) who is trying hard to heal her broken heart, I ought to tell her this "Do cry, but for a while... Express yourself, write or scream or anything, as long as you let it out... Then, wake up, time to move on, remember to ask Allah to help you to find the right way"... (((Hugs u tight)))...
1 comment:
baca phase yang terakhir buat i menitiskan air mata,,sedaya upaya saya untuk kearah itu semakin kuat cubaan yang melanda..
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