silent night

I feel so empty right now.
Eid's approaching.
But I feel so incomplete.
Again my family's not gonna be ONE once again.

Cos My Dad has always been celebrating alone as we've been celebrating the first day of Eid with either my mom and her family or my In-laws.
Cos I don't know how it's like to celebrate the first day with my dad.
Cos I have never done it all my life.

Cos I truly miss my late Grand Dad who was so very dear to me.
Although he passed on 1999, the memory of him still lingers in my head.
Cos he loved me, he cared about me, he raised me up...

Cos my one and only sister has not been celebrating with us for many many years now...
Cos she has to follow my brother-in-law
Cos he's the only child in his family

Cos I have a feeling  I won't have the chance to celebrate the raya with my nieces and cheeky nephew.
Cos her mother hates my guts.
Cos they might not miss me like how I miss them.

Cos my grandma is still very ill.
Cos she may not recognize me when I give salam to her.
Cos she may not be able to call my name when I greet her.

Allah, please give me strength to survive the emptiness deep inside my heart. Ameen...